A Jar of Hope

By Natalia Arendarczyk

Hope is to believe that there is good ahead, even if the current moment is dark and dull. Life is full of obstacles that can make us feel overwhelmed and scared until we jump over them. Happiness in the long term is not fulfilled by eliminating or ignoring those obstacles, but by having the resilience and courage to surpass them knowing that when we do, we will be met with something better and more forgiving. Hope is knowing that the sun will rise every morning after a long, cold and dark night.

But sometimes it’s difficult to have hope. Some obstacles just seem too big, too tiring and it becomes ever so tempting to stop moving forward and give up. Sometimes, even when the obstacles are tolerable, our own negative thoughts and feelings can make them look like mountains. In those times, we need support and other people who can help lift us up and over what we otherwise feel unable to climb.

Yet asking other people for help can also seem like an obstacle in itself. So what can we do? One thing we can do is prepare ourselves. We will always be faced with difficult situations in our lives; these are inevitable and often appear out of the blue. We cannot prepare for the purpose of preventing specific events. However, what we can prepare for is how we might react and deal with them.

We can make a Jar of Hope. You know yourself better than anyone - you know the negative thoughts that flood your head when having a bad day and the subsequent unhelpful behaviours that might accompany that. Your brain is magnificent, but it is also maladaptive. It can remember strings of information you need for an exam, just as well as it can form patterns of negative thoughts that make you doubt yourself. It does not discriminate against the type of information it is being fed. There is no “this isn’t going to be good for my mental health” filter which stops negative thinking.

So whilst we may not be immediately able to stop those thoughts and feelings, we can remind ourselves that there is hope beyond them.

How to make a Jar of Hope:

1. Take a jar (alternatively a box or any suitable container)

2. Decorate it (if you want) with your favourite colours and anything you think would make you more likely to pick it up when in a low mood

3. Cut up small pieces of paper (big enough to write a few sentences on)

4. Think of things that give you hope and write them down on the pieces of paper

5. Fold the notes up, put them in the jar and whenever you lose hope, there will always be some waiting for you to open

What gives you hope? If you are struggling to think of things, what has made you smile this week? What is your favourite memory? When was the last time you felt calm and happy? Maybe it was when you were walking down a park and the sun was gloriously shining, covering you with it’s warmth and you thought “what a beautiful day!”. It is often the little things in life that lift our spirits. The fact that you will one day again experience moments of such happiness and warmth in itself brings hope. If your friends and family give you hope, draw or print some images of them and put those into the jar. If the taste of chocolate or gummy bears brings you joy, put some in there too. I made a Jar of Hope last year. One thing I realised when doing it is that I learnt a lot about how I think. I was able to tailor my notes specifically to my own personal triggers and negative tendencies. I ended up adding some words of advice to myself too, such as “don’t trust your mind after 9pm” because I know that tiredness and low levels of light lower my mood. Like I said, you know yourself better than anyone. Even if you have hope now, the less-hopeful-future-you might really appreciate it if you shared some. So there will always be obstacles to test you in life, and it is always okay to ask for support. Those obstacles are easier to overcome with hope.

Remember that when it gets dark, the sun is just on the other side.